Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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