he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
