did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i now understand why vodka
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
