Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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