I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
