Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
