Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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