remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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