idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have post one night stand depression
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