In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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