Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
