Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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