Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
