Do you still have your period?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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