Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
