The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
