he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
PANTIES FOUND
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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