Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
