I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
