i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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