i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
