There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize