Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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