Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
