i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
