if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
