my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
