I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
