Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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