Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
