If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You made out with two different species that night
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
