He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Someone came in the potted fern
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
