Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
