I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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