He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
