Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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