i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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