If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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