I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize