dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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