Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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