What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
