Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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