it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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