roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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