It's Friday. Sex?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
