Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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