And the cops told us we were all naked.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
How's work?
Spinning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
