I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize