he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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