the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
