i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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