look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
