So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
