Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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