I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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