I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
