My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We need to rekindle our bromance
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
