one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
